Toy Soldiers
by MorbidMandy
Summary: ...We all fall down. Like Toy Soldiers. Max Lightwood fell, broken like his toy soldier. Songfic. Song: Toy Soldiers by Martika. Angst


**Yeah. This is longer than it could've been, but... well I cut a bit off of the end, just because otherwise it would've been **_**definitely too long**_**.**

**But anyway, this is super-angsty, and it's... sad. Just the song makes me cry, and when I thought of Max when I was listening to it... it got **_**really**_** sad.**

**I definitely, definitely recommend and request you listen to the song while you read this. Original version.**

**I own nothing.**

**Song: Toy Soldiers-Martika.**

_Step by step,_

_Heart to heart,_

_Left, right, left,_

_We all fall down,_

_Like Toy Soldiers._

Max Lightwood was scared. He'd never been more absolutely terrified in his life, as he watched the figure climb the demon tower.

Why hadn't Izzy believed him? He'd seen the person-whomever it was-climbing the tower. He was sure of it-surer than anything. How could he have mistook _anything _for that figure?

So why hadn't his sister believed him?

_It wasn't my intention to mislead you,_

_It never should have been this way,_

_What can I say?_

What could Max do? He wasn't a Shadowhunter... not like Izzy and Alec, and Jace.

Just the thought of his siblings made him feel braver. Isabelle, who was so pretty and strong-fearless and tough. Alec, who would never let anything happen to him, who protected them all. Jace, who loved him even though they weren't _really_ related. But Jace loved him, and he would protect him too. They all would.

So what did he have to fear?

Nothing. Or, at least, that's what he told himself as he hugged his knees to his chest, squeezing a tiny toy soldier in his hand. Jace had given it to him-big, strong Jace, who never let anything make him feel bad. Jace wouldn't be scared of a little thunder and a fake-figure.

It was silly, really, for him to be so worried. Nothing would-or could-happen here. It was Idris-it was _Alicante_. Nothing bad could happen in Alicante. It was the safest place on earth.

_It's true, I did extend the invitation,_

_I never knew how long you'd stay_.

But Max _had_ seen someone.

He had.

Max squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a gasp as lightning cracked in the distance. No, he couldn't be scared. He had to be strong. Like Alec.

Alec. Strong, protective... perfect. Alec was Max's hero. He always would be. Every time Alec smiled at him, laughed when he said something funny (even if he didn't mean it to be funny), Max was instantly a million times happier.

Even when Alec would be annoyed at Max-he just wanted to be around his big brother-Max loved him. Because Alec was the best big brother in the world. And Max would always-_always_-be safe when Alec was around.

_When you hear temptation call,_

_It's your heart that takes, takes the fall,_

The ghosting of steps on the floor outside his room. Max might not have been a Shadowhunter yet, but he knew that it wasn't Izzy. It had to be Sebastian. The memory of the dark-haired man made Max shiver. He didn't like Sebastian, even if he knew he had no reason not to.

But Max rose on shaking legs, clutching the toy soldier tight in his hands. The terror flashed through him again, and he was scared-Oh Angel, so scared... he wanted his big brother.

Alec!

_Won't you come out and play with me?_

Max took a shaky few steps toward the door, one hand-ghostly pale-reaching out to rest on the knob. He took a deep breath and reassured himself-and opened.

_Step by step,_

_Heart to heart,_

_Left, right, left,_

_We all fall down,_

_Like Toy Soldiers_.

Max caught one flash of black before seeing him. The terror increased, filling himself up to the brim and spilling over, choking him.

"Wh-where's Izzy?"

A hand, smooth and pale, swinging down at him. He had a split second of true, _true_ terror-the kind that makes you blind, the kind that makes everything in your body scream and scream and scream... and then...

_Bit by bit,_

_Torn apart,_

_We never win,_

_But the battle rages on,_

_For Toy Soldiers_.

The toy soldier fell from his hand, hitting the floor an instant before he did.

Max lay on the floor, gasping and choking on the wave of red that threatened to overcome him. There was no pain, thankfully, merely panic. His head flitted through pictures, as if it wasn't sure who he wanted more.

Mom.

Dad.

Jace.

Izzy.

Alec.

"A-A-A-" he couldn't make the word. He couldn't make out anything now, but red. And black... creeping in.

Max let out a tiny whimper. He wanted Alec, oh Angel, he wanted Alec. He didn't care-not about anything, but seeing his hero again. Alec, where was Alec? Where was his brother? His big brother? He...

He said he would protect me.

_It's getting hard to wake up in the morning,_

_My head is spinning constantly,_

_How can it be?_

_How could I be so blind to this addiction?_

_If I don't stop, the next one's gonna be me_.

As the darkness closed in, as death began to swallow Max Lightwood up, he didn't linger on his brother. Rather, he thought, admittedly a little fuzzily, about his OTHER brother. Jace.

And that little piece of tin and paint that meant so much to him-the Toy Soldier. He thought about how, when Jace first gave it to him, it wouldn't stand up straight. One of the legs was a little too long, so it would topple over... it would fall.

Like Max had.

_Only emptiness remains,_

_It replaces all, all the pain,_

Max shut his eyes the final time, ready to be welcomed into Raziel's loving arms.

_Won't you come out and play with me_?

But something (much to his annoyance) interrupted his death. Isabelle. For a moment, Max couldn't remember _why_ he couldn't just let go and... then he remembered.

Izzy.

Isabelle.

His sister! He had to protect her! He had to-but the dark was too strong, and he could barely hear her now, as she asked about... about what? About him...

Isabelle would be fine, he knew. She was strong, she was... she was the best big sister he could ask for. Max's heart swelled as he died, remembering his sister and his brothers, and his parents and everyone... he was loved.

_Step by step,_

_Heart to heart, _

_Left, right, left,_

_We all fall down,_

_Like Toy Soldiers_.

Max Lightwood died then, smiling faintly in remembrance of his life, his sister, his brothers... and when his soul left that tiny, little body, he smiled still.

_Bit by bit,_

_Torn apart,_

_We never win,_

_But the battle rages on,_

_For Toy Soldiers._

He wasn't broken anymore.

He wasn't the toy soldier.

He wasn't stuck in that broken little body, left bleeding in the hallway, waiting as his sister dropped to her knees, screaming and screaming and screaming because she was supposed to go first!

_We never win._

Not Max, not her little brother, not him! Oh GOD, ANYONE BUT HIM! He watched her as she screamed so painfully, so raggedly... he watched as she hugged him, screaming and begging Raziel to bring him back, to give her back her baby brother, because surely she'd done nothing _that_ bad to have him taken from her.

_Only emptiness remains,_

_It replaces all, all the pain,_

_Won't you come out and play with me?_

He watched as his parents came home and, hearing their daughters screams, they ran to her, worried-and they screamed too, but not out loud. They screamed only for Max, their souls breaking apart, screaming silently as they died inside, their youngest son dead... He watched as he was given the funeral he'd always wanted. The funeral of a Shadowhunter. He watched as people cried over him. He watched as his tiny, broken little body, burned.

But Max wasn't sad anymore.

Because Max was... finally free.

_Step by step,_

_Heart to heart,_

_Left, right, left,_

_We all fall down..._

_Like Toy Soldiers._

_Bit by bit,_

_Torn apart,_

_We never win,_

_But the battle rages on,_

_For Toy Soldiers._

**Sooo... how was it? Tell me! **

**I'm apologizing for the lack of updates on anything else I'm writing, I got caught up writing a songfic for this other song, and then I just made it a story, and... well, now it's an unfinished 6000-word one-shot that may or may not be usable. But I'm close to being finished with the next chapter of Chairman Meow, so... :)**

**Review!**


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